May 30, Report from Adrien Niyongabo in Burundi

From: David Zarembka
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2008 3:27 AM
Subject: AGLI--Report from Burundi--May 29

Dear All,

Below is a report I just received from Adrien Niyongabo, the coordinator of HROC (Healing and Rebuilding Our Communities) in Burundi, about a recent HROC workshop.

Dave Zarembka

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HROC WORKSHOP IN RURENGERA

A HROC workshop took place on May 13-15, 2008 in Rurengera. Rurengera is in Mutaho commune, located in central Burundi.

The particularity of this workshop was that participants were next door neighbors from one community mixed with IDP [internally displaced people] camp residents who normally come from that same community but are now staying in Mutaho IDP camp. 21 participants attended though only 20 were invited. They were 10 men and 11 women. Fivefacilitators (Joseph, Sebastien, Dorcas, Pascasie, and Eraste) conducted this workshop.

On day one, it was so obvious that participants did not want to express themselves too much and some could not even smile or laugh. As the workshop went on, they started not to fear each other any more and their faces were brighter.

When we entered in the "Loss, Grief and Mourning" session, tough matters came to the surface. We need to remember that all these participants know each other because they belong to the same community even though some are now staying in the IDP camp. In fact, whatever was done or happened to one of them was known by almost everybody. That is why the sharing became so fluid and deep. They mentioned their relatives who got killed, their belongings which got stolen or destroyed in 1993. It was expected that a workshop of this kind would be this emotional as folks are gathered close to where the horrible events took place. Consequently, the facilitators provided needed services for those who struggled with their emotions.

There were two participants (one from the IDP - a Tutsi and another from the village - a Hutu) who conjointly asked for more time to work on the issue that was between them since the 1993 war. Here is what happened. When the war started, the Hutu man came to the Tutsi family. He had been sent by a group of other Hutu who were hunting Tutsi to check if there would be still Tutsi males hiding in the house, especially the brother-in-law of the Tutsi woman. In case there would be any male found, he had to catch him and take him to the group. Only the woman and her kids were there. So, when he arrived in front of the house, he pushed roughly on the door, his eyes open like a monster. The woman and kids got terribly frightened. Shocked by the act and trying to protect the kids, the woman took her hoe as a weapon and went to fight against the man. As he was too strong, he took away the hoe and started beating her. Leaving her rolling on the ground, he checked in the rooms and nobody was found. He went back furious!

Well, the two folks asked for a special time (they were taken to another location for more privacy) and one of the facilitators led the dialogue. They finally succeeded to reach a common agreement. It was with big smile that they came back to join the group, sharing that they are healed from carrying such a big burden for years.

Anyway, there was another shivering that occurred in the room when it was revealed that it was Pastor Sebastien (a Tutsi and HROC facilitator) who was wanted that time and he was among the facilitators of that workshop!!

On the last day of the workshop, participants were more open, joyful, and interactive. They even expressed that they would feel happy to stay for one more day. Below are some of the many quotes from participants.

- "These teachings have helped me so much for I had become that careless because of what I lost. I could not undertake any activity that would inquire effort from me for I was saying that there was no need. Since the war took away my dear loved ones, I decided to get drunk every single day. It is painful, I tell you! It is now that I have been in this workshop that I stopped this bad behavior because I understood what was wrong with me. I promise you that I am going back to work instead."

- "Alcohol had become my refuge. Every single night I came home, my wife and kids had to hide themselves. Breaking the pot on fire (before the food would be ready) had become my easy thing to do. You know, I deprived several meals to my family. I am ashamed! It is time for me to change and I am going to do it. I want to be a tree of trust for my family. More, I will tell those with whom I shared beer to stop and plant the tree of trust".

- "I enjoyed the games. I am not shy any more!"

- "The time I spent in this workshop will remain unforgettable for me. Those I used to fear and get afraid from have been the ones I talked to, shared food with and at the end we were good friends. It is possible to rebuild again our neighborhood as people who remained in the village and those who are in the IDP camp".

- "I gained very consistent skills to help myself and especially my children".

- (The woman talking is a Hutu woman married to a Tutsi) "The example from our two friends touched so deep my soul that I feel I want to pull out my own stuff too. When the war was hot and we were fleeing in the bushes, a Hutu woman told me: 'Why are you still tying that evil child on your back (meaning that the child whose father is a Tutsi is an evil). Take him down and throw him away!' Did she forget that he was my child? Did she mean that my loving husband was an evil? Since that time, I decided not to be with that woman and had been holding such hate, anger against her. But, this workshop taught me how to let it go. I want to meet with the woman and tell her how what she said wounded me and that I have been able to forgive".

We closed the workshop with a demand from participants to be invited again. It was also asked that many workshops would be conducted for more folks in Rurengera.